In the last blog post, I discussed how ambivalence is part of the process of making changes in your life. When you may be stuck between wanting and not wanting to do something, it’s important to be mindful of ambivalence and recognize that it’s part of the process of change. The use of goal setting as a tool to help you gently overcome that ambivalence and take action can be helpful.
Let’s say that you are now committed to a goal and taking concrete steps to achieve it. You are moving on your “map” of change. Sometimes, despite being committed, you may notice doubtful thoughts running through your mind. “I don’t know if I can really do this.” “I don’t know if I’ll be ready for that race on time.” “I don’t know if I can keep going with my nutrition plan.” “I don’t think I can finish this run today.”
Self Doubt and Self-Talk Awareness
Self doubt can come and go in the midst of your process of making changes and taking steps toward your training goals. If you notice doubtful thoughts going through your mind and feel tension in your body, you might practice awareness of your self-talk. Notice your thoughts and say to yourself, “Ah, there goes that thought again,” and then replace it with a different and helpful thought. “I can do this.” “I’m preparing the best I can, I am readying.” “I’m doing my best each day with nutrition.” “I am finishing this run.”
Rather than a suggestion to “just be positive,” switching your self-talk statements from doubtful ones to confident and strong ones is a means of managing your thoughts, making them neutral (not positive or negative, just thoughts to be noticed and switched). Paying attention to your thoughts helps you to manage them as well as energy and stress. This process improves your performance and increases your confidence.
Self Talk- Tool to Get to Goal
Now, let me give you an example of how this may play out. I usually run by myself, listening to music and moving as meditation. I get satisfaction in “going away” for a while during a run. Last week, I participated in a fun run at a local running shop with about 200 other runners. I didn’t use headphones, so I was more keenly aware than usual of my thoughts and the people around me. I felt pressure to go faster to “keep up” with others around me even though I didn’t plan to push my pace during this run. I started battling in my head, “I don’t like this,” “I need to push,” “I’m hot, I don’t feel like doing this, I already ran today,” “why am I so slow?” I noticed these thoughts and I countered them. “I am fine, I can do this.” “I am an experienced runner, this is a relatively short run.” I shortened my statements to a couple words and then kept repeating over and over until I felt better and more focused, “fast, fast, fast, short, short, short” (keep moving your feet fast and keep your steps short).
In the moments when I was having doubtful thoughts, my body was tense. When I settled onto my strong words “fast and short,” I felt more ease in the run. I remembered my training goal for the day and stuck to it, despite the difficulty. I kept going despite wanting to stop and not feeling so good during this particular run. I was committed, and when I experienced doubts, I noticed the thoughts and changed them up with intention and high repetition until I calmed again in my mind and body.
Conclusion
Because of my commitment to my training goal for the day, I persisted through the difficulty of self doubt with the tool of self-talk awareness. In a similar way, you can practice being aware of tension and doubtful thoughts that run through your mind when you are working toward your goals, whenever they arise, by being mindful and switching them. Just like goals may help you resolve ambivalence, they motivate you to move through the physical discomfort of training and the mental discomfort of things like self doubt. Discomfort is temporary, your goal accomplishments are forever.
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