Sport coaches have power over players' behavior, they spend a lot of time with athletes and have close relationships with them. Because of this power and the relationship it exists within, coaches can exert a lot of influence in and out of sport. Because of this influence, coaches can play a significant role in preventing high risk behavior amongst high school and college athletes. Many coaches do a fantastic job of teaching life lessons. Despite pressures to win or be fired and time limitations, they are happy to spend a little time in discussions with players to prevent “trouble” behavior throughout their seasons. Unfortunately, many coaches propagate abusive behavior by modeling bullying behavior, or altogether avoid preventing harmful behavior when they know it exists on their teams. As a society, we must expect more from the coaches that have such influence over youth. They are leaders and must be expected to exert leadership behavior in the face of high risk and abusive behavior they are keenly or vaguely aware occurs on their teams. It’s time to transform the culture of sport coaches.
Sexual Assault Prevention and Coaching
Thirteen years ago, I completed my doctoral dissertation on effective sexual assault prevention strategies. I was very energized about reducing the alarming prevalence of sexual assault, not only in high school and college campus populations, but where it exists in any relationship. The way we, as a society, view relationships through the lenses of gender scripts, polarizes males and females. This polarization creates vague definitions that proscribe what it means to be a “man” and what it means to be a “woman” and how they ought to function in relationship to each other. Essentially, being a man equates to being “not a woman.” According to my literature review, these beliefs are highly correlated with attitudes that propagate sexual assault. Unfortunately, distorted notions about masculinity seem to show up in the context of sports, and coaches often are propagating these distortions. For this reason, I urge sport coaches to pay special attention to how they contribute to gender scripting, because this scripting is related to a spectrum of behavior toward females that ranges from disrespect to sexual assault.
Along with the energy that I put into transforming the culture of sexual assault, I also am passionate about the culture of sport and creating best practices for coaching. When those two interests intersect, I become extremely attentive. The Steubenville rape case calls for all of us to pay attention because incidents of rape are sadly common. I am weary of football coaches, all sport coaches, who misuse or fail to use their leadership role by not speaking up about the high prevalence of substance use and sexual assault that take place during parties they know their players attend.
Steubenville
This past weekend, 2 Steubenville, Ohio, teens were found delinquent, guilty in the adult world, of rape committed last summer. The sordid details were revealed in many media stories over the past week (1, 2, 3). The entitlement of the football athletes, the ugliness of their behavior and the advertisement of it through their cell phone text messages, pictures, and videos ended up incriminating them enough that the usual spin to attack the victim’s character was impossible.
What I find especially sickening about this, on a very personal level, is that I met with 4 leaders from Steubenville in May, 2006. I was offering training seminars to football coaches to introduce and implement a program that addressed high risk behavior, including substance use, bullying, hazing, sexual assault and gender scripting. This program was designed to leverage coaches’ positions of power to change the culture of sport by capitalizing on it’s structure. This includes:
• Working with coaches to be effective leaders and role models,
• Teaching the youth athletes how to decide upon and set core team values
• Providing the athletes and coaches with the tools to make decisions that align with those values, in and out of sport.
With some training in a comprehensive approach to behavior change and relationship building, coaches may give youth athletes the tools to make decisions that align with values decided upon by the team. This creates an intrinsic motivation to improve behavior, and refrain from high risk behavior. Coaches usually aim to improve performance: by improving performance off the field, performance improves on the field. The idea is to spend some time at the outset of a season to save time later, dealing with high risk behavior.
There was no interest in the program. I was told there was already a program of mentoring offered to the 6-8th graders. I find it upsetting that the 2 athletes convicted of rape, 16 and 17 yrs. old, were 4th and 5th graders at the time. The comprehensive culture change that I was promoting might have made a huge difference in many lives. Not to say that the program I was offering was a magic potion, but I still believe that the comprehensive culture change that I was promoting then was, and obviously still is, critically needed.
Although the teens themselves are ultimately responsible for their behavior, the culture of sport and community in which they participated certainly contributed to their faulty decision making. That culture can and needs to change in many cities. The misogynist behavior exhibited by the teens, the “above the law” mentality of the football players and their long time coach “Reno,” is particularly troubling. The Steubenville staff told me directly that they knew the culture that they were part of was problematic. This is an example of a grave lack of leadership.
Parents, Teachers, Coaches
After the verdict, the father of one of the delinquent boys announced that he felt some responsibility because he was not “there” for his son. Granted, parents are responsible for teaching youth and instilling guiding principles. At the same time, sport coaches often spend more time with youth than parents do. Some parents may do their best to instill positive values that conflict with a coach who is less than positive or even abusive, but that coach may have a greater influence. Conversely, a lot of parents may not be good examples or effective teachers, nor do they have specific training in how to be good teachers or address high risk behavior. They often may not know “what to say.” This is partly why we have educational systems in place. When coaches are part of these educational systems, they ought to be held to a higher standard of teaching and role modeling. So, are parents responsible for how their children behave? Yes. Are coaches responsible for how the youth they coach behave? Yes. They clearly influence youth in lots of ways. All of the adults- parents, teachers, and coaches are part of the sport culture.
Whether the parents of the delinquent boys were “present” or not, there was a strong “father figure” role model present in the form of the head football coach, Reno Saccoccia, not to mention the 26 other coaches involved with the Steubenville football team. There was ample opportunity to teach life lessons, especially because they knew how necessary it was. But unfortunately, the lessons taught seem to reflect the privilege and secrecy of bad behavior, afforded to football “stars” in a small town. “During last week's trial, Mays testified that Saccoccia knew about the incident and "took care of it." A grand jury will meet in mid-April to consider evidence gathered by investigators from dozens of interviews with, among others, all 27 of the football program's coaches (including junior high, freshman and volunteer coaches).” (4)
Guiding Principles, Lack Respect
That these boys lacked basic human decency in treating another human being with any kind of compassion or respect speaks to the lack of practice of basic values within their heavily practiced football skills. If they were respectful on the football field, I would expect to find that off the field. If there’s an inconsistency, the coach was responsible to point that out. The coach knows about eligibility and grades, the coach knows about parent issues and the status of families. The staff knew in 2006 when I met with them, that the players were faced with drugs, “social issues,” home life issues, and academic issues. The program they had in place was reported to pair youth with an adult mentor to give counseling, “daily” counseling I was told, and “put out fires when they come up.” I was also told that this program, while the school could refer all kids male and female, 80% were athletes “lacking role models.” The reason given for passing on the coach training and program (no charge) was “no time,” the mentoring program had 3 coaches participating, and there were only 5 coaches interested in any further training with something additional.
According to media articles, the teen football players ran rampant, could buy alcohol in town from those friendly to football, staying out past curfew, and lived a life of privileged status in terms of expectations for following rules that were often broken with no repercussions other than a wink. This privileged status certainly transferred to an understanding of relationships as something other than between equals. That understanding, or lack of understanding, certainly led these boys to treat girls as objects, “other,” an out group, without the same privileges as football players. Things. “A dead girl” to be raped.
In every article that I read as this story developed, there was mention of head coach Reno Soccaccio. As the leader of a team of youth, did he help to establish guiding principles of behavior? Did they have a code of conduct? Was it utilized, was it enforced? Did the coach have a code of conduct as a leader? Did the team of 27 football coaches have a code of conduct amongst themselves that was utilized and enforced? Did the school and administrators have a code of conduct for their athletes that was utilized and enforced? Was “respect for others” in these codes? If so, it was clearly not applied consistently or taught effectively. Did the high school educate students about sexual assault, given the high rates of it that occur amongst teens? What a waste of an opportunity to teach these football players how to respect others. What a waste of power, as the coach of these young men, in not educating them about basic respect in relationships or about sexual assault, and making it an explicit part of the policy of the team to refrain from disrespectful behavior toward females peers. I can hear coaches saying, “that’s not my job.” I implore coaches to recognize that it is.
Relationships, Teamwork, and Performance
Youth coaches are leaders on and off the field, whether they like it or not, whether they realize it or not. Coaches: if you teach tactics for sport, you can teach tactics for life. Teaching players how to function in relationships with teammates/peers is a basic responsibility, the sport is the vehicle for this ongoing conversation and development. Teamwork and group cohesion are basic tenets of good performance. Good relationships improve performance, we know that. How about coaches teach respect not only for teammates on the field, but teammates off the field- all peers female, male, transgendered alike. Teammates in life are fellow humans- at school, at home, in the neighborhood, at parties. Respect means no person is a thing to be abused in any way.
If coaches can control decision making about academics in a way that athletes work hard to make grades to stay eligible, they can control athletes’ perceptions and decisions about how to behave in relationships outside of sport. The player to player relationships can serve as an example. High performance comes from well functioning relationships. Clear expectations, effective motivation, clear communication, and rules for “the game” put parameters around sport that make it work by giving it direction. Those same skills apply outside of sport if we take some time as leaders and coaches to be explicit about those applications. Great coaches are not bullies, not abusive. Want to win? Win on and off the field by having great relationships with others. The theme is out there “Respect the game.” Can we add, “Respect each other”?
My Requests
Please stop the violence. Please stop using alcohol as a weapon with which to dull or obliterate decision making on the part of a victim. Stop using intoxication as an excuse for predatory behavior and sexual assault and then call it consent. To every teenager: there is no excuse to ever harm another person, to bully, to abuse, to haze, to touch sexually without consent. To coaches: there is no excuse to verbally and emotionally abuse players, nor physically abuse them as a “wake up” call to perform or try harder. To parents: there is no excuse to abuse your kids in any way or to allow coaches to abuse your kids. Respectful relationships will move us forward toward our potential and we have to practice and practice some more to be better at relationships. If you don’t know how, get some assistance and learn.
PRACTICE DRILLS: Keep repeating over and over until it’s “automatic pilot.”
• Keep encouraging girls to be strong. Please, please, please, stand up to mistreatment. Please stand up to those who put you down, please speak up to those that treat you as less than a full human being. You are not a play thing to be pissed on when passed out, you are not a plaything to be touched and violated in a sexual manner when drunk or unconscious. You are not an outsider to the males who have some kind of privilege just by being male, you are an insider in the human group, with full rights to respect, autonomy, and a voice to say yes or no to anyone touching you in the most personal of ways. If you are drunk, you can’t give a yes, and if someone violates you sexually, that is rape. That is a crime. Report it. The more women that stand up, speak up, and bring attention to sexual assault, the more we as a society cannot continue to fail to address it. As more victims/survivors speak up, the more that coaches cannot ignore the fact that they have a most important role in addressing assaultive behavior of the athletes within their reach.
• Keep encouraging boys to be strong. Please, please, please stand up to other boys when you see them violating another person, when you hear them putting girls down or harassing them. Say something. Tell them to stop. Please don’t touch a girl if she doesn’t explicitly tell you it’s ok to do so. If she’s drunk, don’t touch her. Girls are your human counterparts, you have qualities that girls have, you are not different as some may convince you to believe, not very different at all. If you respect yourself, respect them and keep your hands off of their bodies unless they tell you it’s ok. Shoe on the other foot test, if you were drunk and passed out, would you be ok with some stranger violating you? Putting genitals on you without your consent? Without control of your body or decisions, would you be ok with someone doing whatever they wanted to you? No, no, no, no, no. Don’t do it to someone else.
• Keep encouraging coaches, parents, and teachers to be strong. Please hold them to high standards of respectful behavior toward others and call them on it when they commit a “foul,” whether verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. Refer to guiding principles often after they are established.
• Men who are leaders in athletes’ lives, who spend a lot of time with them, demonstrate the skill of respect toward women and practice it, just like a new football technique that will help performance. Coaches have a serious opportunity to have a major impact in how they model masculinity. How about we start to expect that coaches have training in how to address high risk behavior and gender scripting? How about they set a good example for athletes in how to treat women with equality, by starting with teaching them that sexual assault is wrong, wrong, wrong. And start preaching about female athletes and the glory and strength they bring to the athlete table as equals, deserving of respect. As Henry Rollins suggested in a recent blog, “Put women’s studies in high school curriculum from war heroes to politicians, writers, speakers, activists, revolutionaries and let young people understand that women have been kicking ass in high threat conditions for ages and they are worthy of respect.” (5)
• Male coaches, if partnered with a woman, can you talk about how you respect your wife and set good boundaries with your sport participation, showing athletes how much you value your relationship with your counterpart? Afterall, equality and respect start at home. How do you treat your wife/girlfriend? How do you talk about that person to your players? How do you show your players that that relationship is important and respected? They are watching and listening, I guarantee it.
• Coaches and administrators, let’s craft policies that govern participation and are enforced. You want to play on this team, you have to show respect for your team of fellow human beings. On and off the field, at home, and in the community. It is a privilege to play sports, not a right. To earn that privilege, you have to demonstrate that you know what good guiding principles are, in all contexts, especially at parties. Explicit education about how to behave in respectful ways is part of the team culture. Coaches usually demand that athletes respect them, how about they encourage respecting others outside of sport as a guiding principle? Hold a meeting at the beginning of any season where the guiding principles get spelled out and agreed to as a team. Mission and guiding principles are made explicit so everyone is on the same page, as a team, reinforcing each other for prosocial behavior, increasing cohesion, and improving performance.
• Guiding principles should extend to parents of athletes, and expectations for sportspersonship should apply to coaches and parents, and should be consistent with expectations for how players act outside of sport, i.e. at parties.
Coaches, please, I implore you to value the power you have over athletes, and use it to make a difference in preventing sexual assault and other high risk behavior that athletes will undoubtedly face. Football ends, sport participation ends, life lessons never do. What you teach or do not teach, will speak volumes about you for life and impact the youth you are there to serve. What kind of legacy do you want? Learn how to effectively motivate youth on and off the field to be the best they can be. And, walk the talk. You can also do better.
Conclusion
Sport is a microcosm of how we function in society. We spend a lot of time engaging with sport, because it’s fun, it builds physical and mental skills for life, because it is groundwork for how to function as a part of a team. It’s a context for leadership and learning, becoming the best person you can be. We expect athletes to practice their physical and mental skills. Let’s recognize the importance of relationship skills that inevitably help performance, in and out of sport. Poor relationships on a sport team will lead to poor performance, not moving toward potential. We cannot develop and improve as a societal team, as long as we propagate directly and indirectly, through non-action, the disrespect of others.
In the aftermath of recent accounts of rape committed by football players, we must remember that as a society, we cannot move to our potential and continue the spectrum of disrespect of women in relationships: the disrespect of a young girl on a playground; the disrespect of an intoxicated high school girl at a party; the disrespect of a college girl at a party; the disrespect of an employee at a holiday party; the disrespect of a woman who leaves a public place to get to her car; the disrespect of a woman running in a public park; the disrespect of a woman in a marriage that doesn’t wish to have sex with an abusive husband; the disrespect of a woman who dares to join the military and join the ranks of men in battle; the disrespect of a woman reporter who dares to enter a locker room filled with male players. The disrespect of humanity in any of its forms will change if we decide to keep moving to our human potential.
We demand that athletes practice for their sports if they want to participate. Can we please require coaches to practice for their roles as coaches by having them train in effective youth development and demonstrate high performance relationships, on and off the field? Please, let us call for higher standards for coaches, the figures that have so much power in their relationships with athletes. That power can be used for good and must be supported when that happens. If the score reflects a loss, but the coach taught a great lesson, parents and athletes need to appreciate that. On the other hand, power must be challenged when misused. Parents and athletes must be partners in the process, with equal voice for how to shape the sport experience for the good of humanity. It’s time to blow the whistle on the sport coach culture, there are way too many fouls. Steubenville, and Every City, U.S.A., you need to revise your practice plans for relationships drastically, ASAP. Incidents of teen athletes raping girls could be remarkably reduced, if we exert some leadership and make it part of the sport coach culture to explicitly tell players it’s not acceptable and reinforce respect for others as a guiding principle of being on the sport and human team. Coaches need some coaching, let’s get to practice.
Sources
(1) http://sports.yahoo.com/news/highschool--prosecutors-may-get-conviction-in-steubenville-rape-trial--but-it-will-come-at-a-cost-050043103.html
(2) http://sports.yahoo.com/news/highschool--prosecutors-may-get-conviction-in-steubenville-rape-trial--but-it-will-come-at-a-cost-050043103.html
(3) http://sports.yahoo.com/news/highschool--steubenville-suspects--text-messages-paint-disturbing-picture-of-night-of-alleged-rape--according-to-prosecutors-053236470.html
(4) http://www.athleticbusiness.com/editors/blog/default.aspx?id=1096 retrieved 3-19-13
(5) http://www.underthegunreview.net/2013/03/18/henry-rollins-comments-on-steubenville-rape-verdict/ retrieved 3-19-13
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