Given ongoing news headlines about cruelty to animals, people and environments in crisis, war torn countries, mistreatment, and general malaise, I was feeling overwhelmed and wanted to do something about these sufferings. Closer than headlines, I witnessed a man killed by a drunk driver at a street festival directly in front of me. So close, it could have been me. As I was running the next day, pondering my near death, I felt such powerful energy in my heart, and was reminded how fleeting is this precious life. I committed to do a 24 hour ultra run as a way to honor that man’s life and all of life, as I felt the pain and pleasure of life in my heart. Like the discomfort and pleasure of running, this feeling calls and expands me. As helpless as I sometimes feel to do anything about worldly struggles, I decided I could at least hold a space of kindness for 24 hrs. as a way to tell the universe, “I’m here, use me for good, I feel this pain of compassion. I can do something.” I did do something. The compassion I felt was as tangible as my running, because I shared it with others. The event and the running were elements of an expansive storm of compassion, leading to an optimal experience of sacred activism.
Some may shake their heads in disbelief at the thought of running for 24 hours, or doing anything for a solid 24 hours for that matter, but people do it and for different reasons. A 24 hour ultra run contains the challenge of covering as much distance as possible within 24 hours of time. It can be considered an impossible hardship by some, but for others it’s a worthy physical and mental challenge that may create a profound, life changing experience- an optimal experience. I believe compassion is a main ingredient in optimal experiences, whether running, working, or making apple pie. Sharing that compassion makes it even more powerful and I write about the “24” as a way to share it further.
Compassion: Co-Suffering
Holding compassion and loving-kindness in my heart for as much of the 24 hours as possible, I believed that my experience of the event would be enhanced, and my performance would also improve. Turning the day of running into an exercise in loving-kindness meditation, I intended to hold all the suffering I could think of, my own and that of others’, for the duration while consistently sending kindness to it. That, I believed, would keep me going no matter what physical discomfort or breakdowns might occur.
Let’s get clear about what I was holding in my awareness. According to wikipedia:
“Compassion is the virtue of empathy for the suffering of others. It is regarded as a fundamental part of human love, and a cornerstone of greater social interconnection and humanism —foundational to the highest principles in philosophy, society, and personhood.”
“Compassion is often regarded as emotional in nature, and there is an aspect of compassion which regards a quantitative dimension, such that individual's compassion is often given a property of "depth," "vigor," or "passion." The etymology of "compassion" is Latin, meaning "co-suffering." More virtuous than simple empathy, compassion commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another's suffering. It is often, though not inevitably, the key component in what manifests in the social context as altruism.”
Compassion as a practice can be thought of as Sacred Activisim. Andrew Harvey (2009) suggested that the core message of all the world’s spiritual revelation is that “lasting happiness springs from only true love of the Divine, the world, others, and a true love that expresses itself tirelessly in wise and compassionate action, and can lead not only to lasting inner joy but also to profound transformation of outer reality.” I resonate with this, I’m all about transformation!
Harvey goes on to say that a Sacred Activist is someone who experiences the joy and effectiveness of compassionate service. Acting from deepest compassion and wisdom, a Sacred Activist is someone who is committed to being a “tiny ripple of hope” and a “center of energy and daring” in the face of chaos, suffering, and violence. Yes! I want to be that! The vision of Sacred Activism includes going through danger and difficulty with a “tender heart, peaceful mind, and an increasingly supple and loving body, and a passionate, restless hunger to do all you can to preserve human and animal life on earth.” I’d like to think that my desire to participate and my experience of the “24” was a lab for the skills of the Sacred Activist.
Compassion “Lab” Examples
There was intermittent rain for about 18 hours of the 24. The winds were strong gusts at times, blowing runners’ tents, gear, and crew around. The temperatures dropped to low 40°F during the night. 6.5 hours into the race, a severe hail storm hit that required staying centered through focus. The race director was announcing to all runners to proceed at their own risk and advising all to take cover. I pressed on. I opened my arms wide and breathed it all in, thinking to myself, “I love this experience, I am lucky to be able to do this.” One of my crew members caught up and gave me some gloves, both the warmth of the gloves he offered and his own helped me to be happy and smile amidst “terrible” weather. I kept returning to my focus on compassion, the warmth was inside, no matter what was going on around me, and it was enhanced by the warmth that I shared with a co-compassioner. Tender heart.
Each time it rained, I thought how much I love rain and felt happy. At the same time, I was concerned about my crew and hoped that each of them was ok, whenever I passed and had a moment with one of them, I’d ask how all the others were doing. I didn’t want them to suffer on my behalf, but knew they probably were struggling in the inclement weather. Co-suffering. Compassion for my crew and supporters was present for the duration of the event.
At my lowest mental spot, I began to question if it was compassionate toward myself to keep going. I knew this was a temporary discussion with myself and would pass. “No, the compassion is not for myself right now, I want it to be for others and I will keep going for all those who suffer, as I planned.” Yes of course, compassion for self, but my energy widened when I shifted to compassion for others. It was at this time that another member of my crew joined me for some laps, his presence and his blistered feet marked his compassion and co-suffering.
Despite my careful nutritional planning and practicing with all sources during training, something happened around the 8 hour mark. This is where I struggled the most to hold compassion- toward my GI tract. I was frustrated that I had to keep stopping to use the bathroom for fear of “losing it,” and losing precious running time. Then I thought of all the people who suffer with hardships of all sorts, drug problems, depression, anxiety, marital issues, things they think they can’t bear and fear “losing it” in other ways. I kept going and made friends with losing it. I just kept going. The storms of weather and my belly just gave me more opportunity to go deeper into compassion for others who suffer, as I brought them to my awareness over and over again. I sent kindness to them and thanked my GI tract for giving me the opportunity to practice more.
As much as I can describe my individual experience, as all of us who ran the race could, what stands out to me most is that all of my efforts were really not my own. As much as I sent love to my muscles, embraced the hail, the rain, the wind, the cold, I felt the embrace of the people around me, my crew/supporters and others with whom I had the pleasure to briefly connect. This was truly the embodiment of compassion. I kept feeling love for the Divine and others who were there with me- my crew, fellow runners, volunteers, passersby.
My goal of holding compassion for 24 hrs. was something that naturally enlisted others to do the same, the “tiny ripple” of sacred activism. There was a rawness to what was happening outside of the physical terrain. My crew was “dialed in” to me, especially because of the weather conditions and hardship of it, and I could feel it. It energized me. I felt my raw sore heart more deeply because I had co-conspirators and witnesses. There were people who cared about me enough to brave the conditions with me, and that grew my energy. I hoped to make a difference by holding those who suffer in mind, maybe not directly changing their situations, but creating a space of energy for them, an expansion of awareness. That space of energy in the face of the difficulty of the race and weather, created a ripple of compassion that was directly experienced by those around me. I know that ripple expanded wide to others who weren’t present at the race. That is Sacred Activism. We all had heightened awareness and an energy to “do” something more in the spirit of compassion that went beyond the running event. How can I take this energy and help humanity?
As night gave way to the morning, and the final hours of the event were ticking by, supporters showed up with coffee and donuts. Again, I felt the strength of their presence and was grateful for support. At one point, I tapped my heart and pointed to two of my friends and sent them love. As I strode by, I heard one of them say she might cry. I felt that connection, strongly. It gave me energy in final laps, so much so that I sprinted the final lap as my co-compassioners joined me.
Elements of Optimal Experience: Sharing, Centering, Challenging
Sharing Compassion
As I described in the examples above, the compassion focus helped to create the best possible experience for me. It anchored me amidst the stormy weather and the storm in my body. Because this was my focus, it became the focus of my crew as well (the people who were there to assist me with gear, hydration/nutrition, first aid, and general support). Despite the inclement weather, we all had a fantastic experience together as a team. I could see and feel the contagion of positivity spread to others around us. Sharing the experience made it optimal and sacred.
Centering on Compassion
Finding balance within, or remaining present and centered, no matter what is going on in or around you, is an element of what is termed “optimal experience” (Csikszentmihalyi, 1990). Some find this place when they push on their perceived limits, transcending themselves and somehow feeling more fully alive and awake. Choosing to focus and concentrate on what you want to, you filter what you want to pay attention to from what you don’t. You could think of centered as being able to manage your energy, or manage yourself despite what is happening around you. The process of the continued efforts to do this are what is satisfying, or makes people feel “happy.” My continued focus on compassion made me feel happy even in hail, rain, cold, and cramping conditions. Compassion was a strong anchor for centering, more strong, I believe, than any other goals I have entertained during running in the past.
No matter what role you are playing (athlete, parent, business person), when you are centered and clear about your purpose, the larger mission, the reason for engaging in the activity in the first place, you enjoy it more. When athletes learn to control their minds during sport activities, they put order to consciousness. This ordering makes it possible to enjoy the activity at hand whatever it is, and have an optimal experience- big enjoyment! With enjoyment, performance improves. I created that necessary order by focusing on compassion, and I know that my performance was enhanced. I had a clear mission and goals (24 hours for compassion, 100 miles, injury free), was immersed in the activity, and was very present and focused each step of the way as much as possible. Running for 24 hrs. was a great opportunity to test how much enjoyment could be derived from things that might seem temporarily “terrible”!
Challenges with Compassion
Cultivating optimal experience is knowing how to see challenges as opportunities rather than as threats. There were many challenges within the 24 hours, and I can tell you it was most definitely a standout optimal experience because of these. There was the terrible hail storm that shredded the emergency rain poncho I was wearing. There was heavy rain. There was high wind. There was cold, I couldn’t feel my hands for awhile. I had muscles screaming at me. These were challenges that I met “head on.” I want to emphasize that I believe it wasn’t just what I did personally to manage these things that gave me an optimal experience, it was the shared experience with my crew and others. I felt connected to them, and in that connection I felt connected to the larger web of life, the Divine. With that, it was almost easy to keep framing and re-framing my experience as a welcome challenge, rather than a hardship. It is fitting that the elements were strong as we witnessed to each other in the fury of a storm, the literal one in Cleveland, and the metaphorical one that exists around us in the news and daily lives.
Conclusion
I’ve published other articles about how running and sports teach us about and give us practice in relationship work. Although I draw from scientific and scholarly materials, what I share in these articles is, in part, my personal experience as another form of data. Here is what I learned from this “24.”
The “24” is a challenge I enjoyed. Two years ago, I used it as a way to push my physical limits and see how deeply I could go “inside,” go somewhere spiritually divine because of the physical experience. This time, I wanted to use the time to simply embody compassion as much as possible. Yes, of course, there was the running, the preparation, the nutrition. Those were a context for a grand focus on compassion. The spiritual experience was the main event this time, not just a by-product of the physical push. My intention to connect to compassion made the running enjoyable even when it was physically very uncomfortable. I had an outcome goal of 100 miles in mind that I was prepared for, but that was secondary to the compassion task. Rather than peak or optimal performance, my focus was compassion which I think led to both optimal experience and optimal performance. My results showed me that focus on experience rather than performance, does indeed improve performance. And more importantly, there was a process in place that created energy for transformation internally and externally that fits with sacred activism.
I can say without question, that this last running endeavor showed me truly about the power of shared energy, co-suffering, compassion. The energy of my heart to keep going was fueled by the hearts of those around me. I was happy to be there, happy to be alive, I was happy to see the faces of my people each time I completed a lap, happy to see the event volunteers, the timing guy keeping track of all my work, happy to be in the elements, and happy to see other runners on the challenge. I was happy because I was working hard toward that 24 hour mark with a team of people around me and it was all rooted in the “passion of compassion.” Although I carry compassion as consistently as possible in my daily life, this event deepened my experience of it. You don’t have to run for 24 hours to access this, it’s a moment by moment awareness and re-focusing. Compassion is powerful and can bring energy to accomplishing things you might not think possible- especially when you have “co-compassioners,” or like-hearted individuals around you. Your team is important. Your mission is important. Know what it is.
When I felt myself start to suffer physically, I thought of shelter dogs, people who suffer in war, people who suffer in poverty, people who suffer with pain of immobility, people who suffer with anxiety and depression, or painful relationships. I held all of that suffering tight like a sweet baby, and I told her, “It’s all ok, I’m here for you. I have endless kindness for you and all your brothers and sisters.” My own suffering disappeared again, gone. And only my raw, sore, tender heart was in my awareness, again, and again. Each time I passed my crew it would expand, as I touched them with my eyes and smile inside and out. With that connection, I felt the happy/sad, tender heart flooding out of me. It made me want to run faster even when my body was resisting. This personal and shared storm of compassion was, by far, the most powerful element of the day, far more powerful than hail, rain, and winds. In fact, those storms brought me to THE optimal experience- Love. Love for self, for other, for life, for the world and for all good transformational suffering. Oh, and divine running.
Whether a running event, volunteering time, being the best partner in a relationship, daily work, or baking apple pie, I call you to find something Divine that makes you feel useful, gives you joy, and places you in the role of a Sacred Activist. It’s time to transform. “Sacred Activists are being invited to realize, not only the joy and meaning that comes from being truly useful to others, but something even more transformative. They are being invited to experience for themselves, how, when human beings turn consciously to the Divine in whatever form they know it and dedicate themselves humbly to a transformation that can make them instruments of Divine Love, they become individual, living fields of Divine Grace-empty vessels that can be filled with Divine Power that can seem wondrous, even miraculous, to others.” (Harvey, 2009, 13)
Sources
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compassion
Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Harper Collins: New York, New York.
Harvey, A. (2009). The Hope: A Guide to Sacred Activism. Hayhouse, Inc.: Carlsbad, CA.
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