Over 10 days, I viewed 50 films at the recent 34th Cleveland International Film Festival. Similar to my “spin-a-thon,” mentioned in my last post, this “movie-a-thon” was certainly another experiment in focus, concentration, and flow states. I was entertained, emotions were evoked, and I pondered serious issues, as well as laughed with frivolity. My body ached from sitting in dark theaters for long stretches. But I pressed on, knowing that I wanted to beat my record from last year. I felt the “press” of desire to achieve something.
I often feel this “press” of desire and energy. It makes me “move,” mentally, physically, and spiritually. After viewing 50 movies (largely sitting still, though still a mental effort), the next experiment for funneling this energy is a 50 mile trail run in June. I’ve been challenged to engage in this race and said I’d do it. Despite completing 4 marathons and other endurance events, 50 miles scares me.
When I mentioned running 50 miles to friends and family, I was met with statements such as, “Are you crazy?” The adults’ eyes rolled, and I was admonished to be sure my health insurance is intact. Along the lines of being called “crazy,” an accusation was that somehow I have an “addiction.” I’m well aware of exercise addiction, I teach about positive and negative addictions to physical activity. I am not negatively addicted to exercise.
[Here are the definitions according to Weinberg & Gould (2006): “Exercise addiction: A psychological or physiological dependence on a regular regimen of exercise that is characterized by withdrawal symptoms after 24 to 36 hours without exercise. Positive addiction to exercise: A condition in which exercise is viewed as important in one’s life but is successfully integrated with other aspects of life (healthy habit). Negative addiction to exercise: A condition in which life becomes structured around exercise to such an extent that home and work responsibilities suffer (p. 482).”]
Although some endurance athletes may have mental health battles or negative exercise addictions, some find a way to manage to balance total quality of life within the extremes of the training and event completion. Endurance athletes are said to be different: how they think, how they manage pain, and how they view challenge and obstacles. Some would say that physically, endurance athletes are not entirely different from other athletes. They engage in appropriate training, of course, to get physically prepared for their events. However, it is said that endurance event performance is especially related to mental ability and/or training. Mental discipline is a key factor in managing the barrage of thoughts and physical pain that may be present during endurance events. Fears of injury, re-injury, embarrassment, and non-completion may all be part of negative self talk that have to be mentally managed. Perceptions of pain must be mentally managed.
Psychological skills such as goal setting, visualization, self talk, arousal regulation, persistence, and concentration are all keys to mental toughness required for endurance events. The event could be thought of as a mindfulness meditation, simply (not easily) being entirely present in the moment, open to the experience as it unfolds. I have experience with these skills and practice them often. I still view a 50 miler with some fear.
What is it that makes someone decide to complete an endurance activity such as this?
What is it that makes me want to run a fifty mile trail? I like moderation, but I also like a challenge. I like overall fitness. I also like to push my limits, because I CAN. I also am a fan of transformation. A 50 miler seems to me to be all about transformation. Choosing to connect with pain and conquering it is transformative, it’s a spiritual experience. I experienced physical pain in my training as a skater, running marathons, and in surviving a car accident and a year of subsequent rehab. Similar to the challenge of these experiences, a challenge in a 50 miler is to recognize perceptions and hone mental strength to simply “be with” pain. I can do it, I can have this pain and it’s ok. Whether it is foot pain related to blisters or the anguish of wanting to stop and fighting with thoughts of stop or keep going, being present to pain transforms it, just as being fully present for many things is a transformative process.
Again, why do I want to run fifty miles on a trail? What comes to my mind as I sit here contemplating the race is the press of energy, achievement. The achievement is in embracing an opportunity to test myself, pushing my perceived limits. How far can I push the line of achievement toward possible failure? Where is that line? Every time I have pushed, I have achieved a deeper peace with myself, wrestling with a welcome or unwelcome physical hardship.
The endurance events I have completed thus far were a great opportunity to connect with something deeper in myself that transcends and transforms my physical body. This upcoming event will be that as well. Similar to viewing 50 movies at the filmfest, this will be another transformative experience that will evoke emotions, make me ponder serious issues, bring me some laughter, and make my body ache. Move for 50 miles. Move 50 miles, from fear to courage.
Resources
Evans, M. (1997). Endurance athlete’s edge. Champaign, IL: Human Kinetics.
Van Dusen, A. (2008). Inside the endurance athlete’s mind. Retrieved 4-1-10, from cbcsports website: http://www.cbc.ca/sports/story/2008/10/02/f-forbes-endurance.html
Weinberg, R.S., & Gould, D. (2006). Foundations of sport and exercise psychology (4th ed.). Champaign, IL: Human Kinetics.
http://www.ultrunr.com/train50.html
http://www.ultramarathonrunning.com/training/index.html
http://www.ultramarathonrunning.com
